Preparatory Phases

The Disposition Days (continued)
 

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Chapter Three

Continuation Of The Disposition Days
Listening To The Experience Of Prayer Unit 2
Introducing Prayer Unit 3
Dealing With Resistance

        The material in Prayer Unit 2 covers the theme of creaturehood. It combines two statements which the Disposition Days might deal with separately: 1) God creates me/us -- which contains the image of God as loving maker; 2) God gives God's self to me/us -- which contains the image of God who loves us as a lover [231]. The theme of creaturehood is picked up again in the Principle and Foundation in Prayer Unit 5.

        At this time, you might judge that your directee needs more time with Prayer Unit 2. If so, follow your judgement. One way of achieving this is by breaking up the creaturehood theme according to its different aspects:

        Hopefully, your directee will have experienced in some significant way one or other of these aspects. Perhaps it will be a sense of awe and fragility before his Creator; or a deep sense of reverence at the value of life; or a sense of being a part of a vast and beautiful enterprise of cosmic proportions; or a sense of being accepted and loved; or an amazement at how small we are and yet how we, along with the human family, are loved personally; or some experience of being a child of God. These Disposition Days are based on the basic Christian beliefs that are presumed throughout the Exercises.(8) As prayer guide, you hope that this belief structure behind the Exercises is being appropriated. What you are hoping for is not so much an intellectual grasp of, or assent to, these beliefs, but rather, a heart-felt experience. Some experience of being a loved child of God is very important before your directee faces his own sin and that of the world in the First Week. Such an experience creates safe ground on which to stand when being faced with the hard truths of evil and fosters an attitude of heart that allows him to be more open to the enlightening and forgiving love of God.

        Whatever the theory and hope, your directee may come to you without these experiences. Perhaps he is still struggling to establish rapport with you. Perhaps he is still learning to articulate his personal experience. In both situations, you will probably find it more appropriate to remain on the surface of things. This is all right. Don't rush. Don't lay expectations on your directee. Gently be with him at his growing edge. Simply listen for hints of some aspect of these themes as they surface. Only when they do, help your directee to notice them.

        Perhaps he will only be starting to relax in God's presence and to be aware of God's nearness (something you had hoped for last week!). Encourage whatever is emerging in his prayer even if it seems to be referring to an earlier prayer pattern. Help him to notice his own experience and to grow into a deeper awareness of his identity as a beloved child of God under whatever aspect or modality this is occurring.

        At times during the Exercises journey, your directee may begin to experience resentment at his limitations, anger at not being in control of life's whims. It is a feeling of being manipulated by an all-knowing God. Though this might be the logical place where such a reaction should occur so that a person might enter into the Exercises journey with a better image of God, often this occurs much later, sometimes during the First or the Second Week. If such resentment does occur here, encourage the expression of these feelings now, during the interview, and later, during the prayer exercises, particularly in the Colloquies. Encourage him to ask God for the enlightenment necessary to let God be God. At times, such resentment takes place in the more subtle ways discussed in the latter part of this chapter.

        After you have listened and mutually discerned and discussed what has been happening in your directee's prayer experience, you could give him the prayer material for Prayer Unit 3 with a suggestion or two explaining how to go about it and what to look for. Obviously your suggestions will flow from, and be focused by, what you have heard emerging. What you sense is needed at this point is more important than any proposed prayer pattern. Perhaps you might suggest that he return to some of the same material from Prayer Unit 2 for all or part of the next week.

        During this interview, it will be important to investigate the use of the Review which you introduced last week. You could ask your directee to read aloud one of the written Reviews from the past week. The Review is one of the skills that help a directee to reflect on his own experience of a prayer exercise and to notice, on his own, God's movements. Some directees find this written Review rather difficult to do. One directee wants to write down everything and so spends too much time on it; another can't think of what to put down; another wants to tie everything up in lessons and "nosegays" in order that he may benefit from reading it next year! The key difficulty one encounters with the written Review is that directees put down their conclusions of the prayer rather than capturing their interior reactions or spiritual movements. They record thoughts that flow after the prayer experience, rather than the experience itself.(9) What you should be attentive to are the interior reactions that flowed through your directee as he was doing the prayer exercise itself. The prayer guide listens primarily to what arose from a directee's heart during the prayer exercise.

        Hence from time to time, some teaching and checking out may be required to detect whether your directee is learning to be attentive to movements -- the more spontaneous thoughts and feelings that have been occurring during the prayer exercise. Sometimes it may be helpful, though admittedly artificial, to suggest that your directee use some guide questions in making the Review after each prayer exercise during the next few weeks. But even with such questions as these, your directee may take a long time before he grows in this skill:

a) What scripture text did I use for prayer?
b) Did I give the whole time to the prayer exercise?
c) Where was I comfortable or uncomfortable during this period of prayer?
d) What feelings and thoughts occurred to me during the period of prayer?
e) Is there something from this period of prayer to which I should return in
    my next period of prayer?
f) For what gift was I asking God? Did I receive it? How?
A good Review will always have three aspects to which a directee should be attentive:         After discussing the nature of the Review, and if appropriate, give further explanations on Repetition, Praying for a Grace, and/or the Colloquy. At this point you do not want to give too many explanations.

Repetition, Asking For A Grace, Colloquy

        Repetition is one of the most important dynamics of the Exercises journey. Unfortunately many prayer guides do not appreciate this sufficiently. Often they interpret Repetition as merely going over the same material again in order to grasp better what has gone on before as one would do in studying for an exam or in preparation for a lecture. However, Repetition is the going back to a place where there has been some movement in prayer [62] -- moments of Consolation (a sense of being lifted up, a sense of God's presence, an unexpected understanding or meaning, etc.); moments of Desolation (struggle, uncomfortableness, a sense of God's absence, etc.); or moments of spiritual appreciation (a sense of the beginning or the deepening of some understanding which touches the heart).

        Repetition is often a difficult concept to communicate to a directee. However, once a directee, on his own, makes use of Repetitions and desires to return to some movement that has taken place, you know that he has entered into the dynamic of the Exercises. Later, when he recognizes that some movement has not yet been completed or when he expresses the judgement that perhaps he should return to some feeling or emerging thought, then you know that he is actually beginning to discern spirits.

        If you introduced the notion of Repetition as given in Prayer Unit 2, begin to discuss with your directee its use and then ask, "When you used the material that was suggested last week in d), e) and f), what governed your choices?" In later interviews, you can encourage the use of Repetition by asking such questions as: "Was there some point in the past week that you sense you should be returning to? ... Why do you say this?" You might explain it in this way: "In your Review you might be attentive to some movement that invites you to go back. Sometimes this is indicated by an uneasiness or by a feeling of God's presence that calls you to go back and stay a little longer. Through Repetition you are respecting the Spirit's movements within you. Go back and do not be afraid to incorporate in succeeding exercises any points of movement from previous prayer exercises." It may be several weeks before your directee is able to appreciate the notion of Repetition; simply raise the issue here and be prepared to continue to heighten your directee's consciousness concerning its use and importance as you accompany him on the journey.

        Asking for a Grace is not something that we do at the beginning of each exercise only. Rather we continue to ask for a Grace all through the exercise and in the Colloquies. To ask for a Grace is first of all to acknowledge that growth in prayer is God's gift and not our work. It puts us in the position of a receiver rather than that of a doer. It gives us a focus in the prayer. Ignatius continually suggests its use; the directee is instructed to include it in every prayer exercise. When we ask for a Grace, we leave that part of our being open to receive it; we make a certain area of our life available to God's action. As a directee prays for the suggested Grace, he finds that the general Grace becomes more particular according to his needs. For example, at the beginning of the week, a directee may be praying for the awareness of how his Creator relates to him personally. Towards the middle of the week, he begins to pay attention to some fears that are arising. He discovers that he is afraid of anyone relating personally to him. He finds it hard to trust intimacy for some specific reason. Accordingly, he begins to pray for the trust he needs. It is often helpful to ask your directee during the interview, almost at any time during the Exercises journey, "What do you sense to be your particular need now?" What you are doing is asking your directee to particularize the Grace that is being sought. You can also suggest, "If you don't seem to be receiving the Grace you are seeking, talk it over with Jesus in your Colloquies."

        In the model that Ignatius outlines, the Colloquy is placed just before the close of a prayer exercise. The directee should make it there if he has not done so earlier. However, the Colloquy is a conversational technique intended for any moment during the prayer exercise. It is made when one feels moved to make it. At times one enters into such a Colloquy when one prays for the Grace. It is made as a friend with a friend [54]; during it, one pours out one's thoughts to God [53]; during it, one talks over what is happening in one's experience, be it temptations, Desolations, Consolations, or desires. One talks over what one needs -- seeking advice, inquiring how one could be more open, asking for enlightenment as to some particular issue [199]. Like any conversation, it is a dialogue. Monologues are not conversations; nor are they Colloquies. One should not interpret the Colloquy as a vocal prayer. The Colloquy, at this stage, is an instrument of discovery. Later on it will become an instrument of freedom.(10) When one talks out one's experiences and pours out one's thoughts, there is a release of the less-than-conscious areas of one's heart. Revelation and discovery come both from within oneself and from the grace of God's enlightenment. Often one begins the Colloquy in one fashion, then forgets oneself in the conversation and discovers oneself saying things and expressing deeper and unexpected desires. In the development of these desire and in their indication of growing Spiritual Freedom, one recognizes the impulse of the Spirit.

        As indicated in the last chapter, the Colloquy is a two-way conversation. Often a directee has no trouble talking to Jesus or God as father or God as mother but often fails to talk with them. The Colloquy is a conversation and conversation is dialogical. Often it will help the directee to enter this dialogue by encouraging him to use his imagination.

Desolation And Resistance

        The rest of this chapter deals with a topic that may arise at this stage but may also come up at later stages on the Exercises journey. It is the topic of `resistance.'(11) Let us suppose that your directee has been praying very well and has been articulating his experiences with ease. Now he comes to you and says that he has had a terrible week: "I wasn't able to concentrate at all. Last week the prayer periods seemed to go so well but this week has been so different!" How do you explore this experience and respond after using the active listening phase of the interview?

        First of all, you should always check the externals of prayer. Has he been putting in the full time of prayer? Has he prepared the matter for his prayer [6]? Is anything happening in his day-to-day living that presents a worry or a concern? If so, has he brought these experiences to the prayer or has he tried to isolate his prayer from his real life? Has he continued to be generous? Is there something physiological, such as a fatiguing experience? If some possible reason for the struggle emerges out of these external questions, then treat the issue on this level. Don't look for something more subtle if you can use something that is more obvious. If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, call it a duck!

        Let us suppose, however, that nothing on this external level accounts for the struggle of the past week. Then you might presume that he is distancing himself from God in some way. Has the material for prayer surfaced some image of God that does not harmonize with that expressed in scripture? Is your directee experiencing some anger, resentment, fear, or sadness that has been touched off? Sometimes, distractions and the inability to settle down in prayer are signs of emerging reactions. Is your directee experiencing some memory that needs to be dealt with? Is your directee experiencing some resentment about life? Is there something about being creature and dependent that he does not like?

        You can keep such questions at the back of your mind to help you listen, but remember none of these possibilities may fit at all. So don't judge. Your role is to listen and to help your directee notice what is going on as you are listening. The danger here may be that you will jump to some interpretation which will interfere with your directee's noticing. There are three approaches that could be used.

        The first approach is to continue with active listening. In this approach, you respond to his comment about the struggle of the past week by saying something like this: "You must have really been struggling in the past weeks.... I wonder whether it may be difficult for you to express.... Let's spend a bit of time on the past week.... Sometimes our more profound experiences take place when we pay attention to the frustrations and seeming failures.... Let's take your prayer exercises of the past two days, and even if it seems useless, try to express the thoughts and feelings you had during them...." Engage in listening and tentatively feeding back what is being expressed or hinted at.(12) For example, in listening to him, you may have noted some phrase or word indicating edginess. And so, with a more direct question or two, you might focus on the feeling part of the words: "You mention being tense or edgy.... What does it feel like to be edgy? ..."

        Being distracted, dryness in prayer, or a sense of God's absence can be a sign of emotional distancing in prayer. Through the same questions that were suggested in the last chapter, focus on what happened, not on why it happened. You will cover less ground than before. Simply underscore the emotional reactions that are being expressed and reflect these back as accurately as possible. Don't change what is being expressed with interpretations. If you suspect that this experience is masking some fear, anger, or unwanted negative feeling, then realize that careful exploration may take a long time before your directee expresses the unwanted negative feeling to you or even recognizes it for himself. It will be some time also before he is able to express it to God. Your role is to encourage the feelings that are being hidden by the confusion and frustration. Realize, too, that for the next week or so, affective prayer may not be possible. Therefore as suggested in notation [319], you might encourage him to use a more actively reflective method of prayer. When affective presence is almost impossible, a more intellectual approach may be necessary during the prayer exercise.

        The second approach begins with the gentleness and kind encouragement suggested in notation [7]. If you do not think that it is too early in the Exercises journey, you might refer to the First Set of Guidelines for Discerning Spirits and show them to your directee. Together, read the pertinent guidelines -- [315], [317], [319]-[321] -- during the interview. Discuss them a bit to discover whether any of these descriptions seem to fit his experience. Then discuss with him how to go about his prayer next week. Ask whether he senses that he should repeat some of the same material of the past week. Often at this early stage, it may not be appropriate to use these guidelines explicitly since there are so many other things that your directee is learning. However, if your directee is comfortable enough with scriptural prayer and articulation of his prayer experiences, he might benefit by being exposed to them. In any event, this approach can be used later on when such a struggling experience of Desolation will likely occur. Note that, in this approach of using the Guidelines explicitly, often the underlying feelings do not immediately get identified and the real issue(s) will likely surface later during the prayer exercises themselves as your directee follows Ignatius' suggestions contained in these Guidelines.

        The third approach enlists the cooperation of your directee in trying to discover the reason behind the experience. You could do so by saying something like this:

"You know, Martin, the struggle that you describe, though it seems very frustrating to you, may, in fact, be the Spirit trying to communicate with you in a special way.... Sometimes when God's Spirit is attempting to enlighten us, we react with fear or confusion or sadness ... just as you describe. Let's try together to discover what may be taking place. Was there something in the material of the past week that you didn't like? Let's look at each passage together.... The first one was on Moses taking off his shoes...."
Often this third approach will not bear fruit immediately because your directee will not understand you. He will not see how confusion and frustration might mask other feelings until he has received the enlightenment after the experience. However, you are laying the groundwork for his own efforts in seeking from God the grace of enlightenment as to what is the meaning of his experience.

        The first approach is completely indirect. The second approach makes direct use of the Guidelines for Discerning Spirits. The third approach enlists your directee's conscious help on the path of discovery. At this stage, I would likely use the first approach while leaving the others for a later time when your directee has gained a greater facility in expressing his deeper reactions.

Summary

Specifically: Generally:

Chapter Four

Continuation Of The Disposition Days
Listening To Prayer Unit 3
Additions
Introducing Prayer Unit 4

        The material of Prayer Unit 3 unfolds another aspect of our creaturehood and God's desire to share with us; namely, God's eagerness to forgive us personally and communally through Jesus our personal saviour. It combines two theological truths which, if you judge suitable, you could propose separately for two different prayer units: 1) God desires to forgive us personally, and 2) Jesus desires to be our personal saviour.

        These themes convey images of God as full of mercy and compassion. "If God is on our side, who can be against us!" (Rom 8:31) The following facets of God's love are implied:

        Also implied is the truth that all history is salvific -- our communal history in general, along with our own personal history. This means that God is present in the events of life, labouring and working for us so that God might share with us God's inner life and love [235], [231].

        When you begin this interview, you are hoping that a further dimension of God's love has been experienced in some significant way. Perhaps it will be a deepening of an aspect of God's love that has been emerging in the past interview. Perhaps it will be more related to the present theme: a sense of being loved even though one is a sinner; or a sense of God's kindness, a realization that God is not out to get one; or a greater comfort with God against whom one has sinned; or a deeper belief in God's mercy.

        As you listen to your directee and help him notice his own experiences or prayer, try to note how he is relating to God or Jesus as constantly desiring to forgive. What lines of scripture seem to be striking him? How is he affected by these lines -- comfortable? uncomfortable? turned in on himself? appreciative of a truth outside himself? Is he relating more personally than he was, or is he beginning to be more impersonal by theorizing or learning lessons? If the latter, what images of God might be influencing his responses?

        The stress of Prayer Unit 3 is God's desire to forgive, not the directee's need for forgiveness. Hopefully, there will be more attention to God than to himself. However, when this theme is introduced, it often happens that a directee seems to move into a focus on his own sinfulness. If this happens and if your directee begins to be discouraged, remember how notation [7] instructs you to encourage your directee and to strengthen him for the future by "laying bare the wiles of the enemy of our human nature." As mentioned in the last chapter, perhaps this is too early to use the Guidelines for Discerning Spirits more explicitly. It is important here not to focus too much on this experience of being turned in on himself. A brief exploration here may be helpful to connect empathically with your directee's experience in order to discover how you can encourage him to stay on track with the work of this preparatory phase. If your directee feels that, in some significant way, you have heard what he has been expressing, then almost any attempt to encourage him will help even though the exact issue may not be clear to you. Thus you might share some discouragement along the same lines from your own life(13) and witness to how you learned to have patience and bring it to prayer. Or you might simply encourage patience and the belief that God will communicate God's forgiving love: "You know, God doesn't want you to batter yourself this way...." Gently encourage your directee to notice other aspects of the scripture texts which stress God's desire, eagerness and warmth. Perhaps you might suggest that he repeat one or two of the past week's scripture texts with a slightly different focus. This may be sufficient for you to continue establishing the needed foundation before the First Week begins. To enter into the First-Week material is probably too soon at this point.(14) It is important in this dispositional phase to continue laying the groundwork for the Exercises proper -- like preparing a canvas for the painting.

        Continue to monitor your directee's use of reflective skills. Note whether your directee is making the Review that you introduced a few weeks ago. Also, check out his use of Repetition. How has he returned to some of the points where he experienced movements? This will be a question at the back of your mind as you help him notice what was going on in his prayer experiences. It takes a long time before a directee begins to notice such things on his own. A continual nudging in the direction of Repetition may be necessary throughout the next couple of months before your directee develops this particular wave-length. You can suggest: "Perhaps your experience of discouragement indicates that something is happening.... You may sense the need to return to some of the material you prayed over last week...."

        To complement this, it will be important to keep reminding your directee about Ignatius' advice to remain quietly with the point in which he is finding what he desires, without any eagerness to go on until he has been satisfied [76]. This is similar to notation [2]: "... for it is not much knowledge that fills and satisfies the soul, but the intimate understanding and relish of the truth"(15) -- all of which is related to the experience of Repetition.

        However, a new directee often wastes much energy reading through the Additional Readings of the prayer unit or those parallel references found in bibles. To discourage this, you could suggest a few scripture texts only instead of all the material suggested in the prayer unit. Sometimes you might even need to insist that your directee remain with one or two lines of a scripture text, or one part of the scripture story, or one symbol for the whole period of the prayer exercise!(16)

        What is the criterion for remaining on a point? It is finding or the possibility of finding "what I desire" -- the phrase used for the Grace for which the directee is praying. Asking for the Grace is a very important part of the prayer exercise. Therefore, it is often helpful to ask, "What Grace are you praying for?" in order to check whether your directee is praying for the Grace. Ask also, "Are you receiving the Grace that you are praying for?" The first question gives you a clue as to what your directee is really asking for; sometimes, in asking God for the Grace, a directee so changes the request that he leaves out the very thing he might need. For example, if your directee is asking to know Jesus more when the Grace indicated is not only to know Jesus more but with a deep-felt knowledge, the omission may indicate something significant. Further, your directee's answer to this first question may indicate whether he is particularizing the Grace according to his perception of his own need at this time.

        This particularization of the Grace should be encouraged. For example, as you explore together some discouragement that the directee is experiencing in the process, you discover together that the directee believes he has to be perfect before he can be loved. And so you might encourage him to pray for the Grace in a more particular way: "As you pray for the Grace and ask for it over and over again, perhaps you could ask for a deeper awareness of how God accepts all you, even with your faults!"

        The way your directee finds himself particularizing the Grace during the prayer exercise indicates how God is moving in him. For example, in answer to the first question, your directee might say something like, "I've been asking God to help me let go of the boxes I put God in." In such a statement, you can recognize the beginning of the experience of creaturehood -- a sense of God's otherness. Over the next several months, you may notice that a general Grace which Ignatius suggests for a series of prayer exercises becomes gradually more specific. Your directee may often use the phrase, "and I found myself asking for," in response to that first question. In other words, as he prays for the Grace over and over again, a subtle shift begins to occur. It is almost as if the directee hardly notices it and uses one or other expression such as, "I found myself," indicating how it flows from his heart in response to the word that is taking root.

        The second question, "Are you receiving the Grace that you are praying for," helps your directee discern for himself what is going on and what he is receiving from God. If he senses that he is receiving the Grace he is praying for, you can begin to inquire whether he recognizes that he should remain on the point of the scripture text where he seemed to be receiving this gift. This again heightens his awareness of the use of Repetition and helps him to recognize whether the particular movement is completed. As Ignatius implies in notation [76], "I will remain on a `point' until I am satisfied," the criterion for moving on is within the directee himself. Little by little he learns to recognize this and he may say, "Yes, I think I should remain there for a few more periods." ... or ... "I feel that it's okay for now." Such responses indicate his awareness of the interior reactions taking place in his heart.

        On the other hand, if your directee senses that he is not receiving the Grace he is seeking, this can lead to a discussion on how to dispose himself more appropriately. Together you can search out with your directee various ways of doing this. The following is a partial list of reasons or areas that you can search out together. This list is more appropriate at this time when your directee is learning how to enter into the Exercises dynamic:

a) Posture during prayer -- When he is not receiving the Grace, it is advisable to experiment and make a change; when the Grace is being received, it is better to remain with the same posture [76]. Harmony between exterior and interior is a way of opening one's heart for the desired Grace. External posture is an important gesture for the interior disposition.

b) Preparation for prayer -- There is the kind of `immediate preparation' that the directee makes just before he begins the prayer exercise. Does he look over the scripture passage beforehand and know the Grace he is seeking? Just before the prayer, does he spend a few moments to recollect himself and to settle down as he considers "how God is beholding me" [75]. For example, he could make an act of reverence such as a slow sign of the cross or a profound bow of the body before the place where he is about to pray. Perhaps he needs to switch off the telephone and check the atmosphere and lighting in the room.

        Then there is the kind of `remote preparation' the directee makes all day long. Perhaps he has let himself be overstimulated by the events of the day -- by trying to accomplish too much within a day or by encountering too many angry colleagues and picking up their negative vibrations. Although the directee is to bring these real-life experiences into his prayer, still he may need a certain amount of relaxation to take the edge off the stresses of the day so that they will not interfere with the Grace(s) being sought. After the appropriate preparation, the best way to settle into a prayer exercise is to let the troubles of the immediate past surface and be accounted for, and then, to let them go.
c) Desire for the Grace -- Does the directee actually desire the Grace for which he is praying? If not, perhaps he should pray for a real desire for the desire for the Grace.

d) Time commitment -- Is he putting in the full time of prayer, or is he "cheating" here and there on his commitment?

e) Inordinate Attachments -- Is there some undue preoccupation to which he is clinging and from which he needs to separate himself -- perhaps a false expectation that he needs absolute silence to make the prayer exercises, or that he has to keep up with all the news, etc.? If the Exercises journey is becoming just "one more duty that I have to squeeze into a busy day," then there may be such an undue preoccupation.

        By discussing the above aspects with your directee, you will be able to judge the appropriateness of introducing the material covered by [73]-[81], usually called Additions by older commentators. The Additions need to be introduced soon. You can do this simply by giving the Additions directly from the Exercises text and by asking your directee to reflect upon them to see how they might be made applicable to this notation-[19] experience, written as they are for the Exercises according to notation [20]. Ask him to apply them to his own situation and suggest that during a later interview you can discuss with him how they could be adapted to his situation.

        The suggestions that Ignatius gives in these Additions pertain to the atmosphere of the First Week where the setting is more controlled. What is implied is the importance of the directee keeping himself in harmony with the Grace(s) he is seeking. The directee making the notation-[19] Exercises should frequently pay attention to the way certain activities of daily living influence his receptivity during prayer. This is particularly true concerning those activities that immediately precede and follow the prayer exercise. Every evening during the Awareness Examen, he should evaluate this. Here are some helpful suggestions, some of which can be added to or modified in later weeks, according to the theme of his prayer:

Your directee will have to discover, by trial and error, what helps to keep himself in harmony with the Grace he desires.

        You might think that these suggestions are self-hypnotic, a kind of manipulation of a directee's psyche. Far from it! The whole person is involved. All the ways by which a person keeps in harmony to dispose oneself are based on the belief that the care of the soul involves the care of both one's external and internal self -- the psyche and the body. The other principle involved in this approach is that whatever is received is received according to the mode of the receiver. For example, a person going to prayer filled with tensions, distractions and heavy involvements receives the word in a distracted way. The psychology behind the Exercises text and its intended dynamic is rather simple:

I do everything that I am able to do to open myself, knowing that it is only God who can give me what I am seeking.
        Another way of saying this would be: I do in my own way what I hope God will do in God's own way. Thus if I am seeking to be sad and to be compassionate with Jesus on the cross, then I try as best as I can to create an atmosphere of sadness in the hope that God will give me the compassionate sadness that I seek. For example, if I as a directee am truly serious and generous concerning my commitment to the Exercises journey, then I will want to avoid getting involved in such things as "partying" during the time of the First- and Third-Week prayer exercises.

        With respect to the Additions (and everything else in this manual!!), remember that these are only suggestions for any number of possible and hypothetical scenarios. You are the prayer guide, and your adaptations and insights may be far more instrumental than written instructions. It is essential for the dynamic of the Exercises journey that the actual spiritual exercises be adapted. The map has to fit the landscape, not the landscape the map. The Sabbath is made for the person, not the person for the Sabbath.

        In this preparatory phase, it is important to check out your directee's faithfulness to his full time commitment. The commitment to a definite time frame is important because it gives both prayer guide and directee an objective context against which to judge what is going on in the directee's subjective experience. You will need this when the going gets tough and it is difficult to judge whether the directee is in Consolation or Desolation. Proposing a specific time commitment is not something to be nudged at or encouraged in an indirect way as one might do in an ongoing spiritual direction context. Though many of my other suggestions fall under the rubric "to encourage rather than impose" or "to lead gently and indirectly rather than tell," the commitment to a certain time frame is not one of these items.

        It would be far better to agree on a shorter time commitment (for example, half an hour rather than an hour) than to make a longer one which a directee is unable to fulfil. Before a person enters the First-Week material, a definite agreement of time commitment and actually fulfilling it are essential. Confrontation on this point may be necessary. If your directee cannot handle such a commitment to a definite time frame, then you ought to be very honest and indicate that the Exercises journey may not be for him. Perhaps he should stop now and enter the journey when he is able to make such a definite commitment. Perhaps he could continue with ongoing prayer guidance in the context of Ignatian spirituality, but he should realize that he is not making the Spiritual Exercises.

        Why should a prayer guide be so strict? First, a definite time frame is important to judge what is happening in prayer. Second, such a commitment is a test of openness, generosity and desire. Third, there will come a time within the Spiritual Exercises later when Desolation will prompt the directee to cut down on the time structure. If the commitment issue is not settled early, you will not be able to use his relationship to the structure as a means to indicate interior reactions such as avoidance or some other form of resistance which is not acknowledged or in evidence. Dealing with this issue before your directee enters into the First-Week material will save you much energy later on.

        Before the end of this interview, you should also check out how your directee is using the Colloquy. Towards the end of the interview, hand out the material of Prayer Unit 4 unless you sense that more time is needed on the themes of Prayer Unit 3. If this is the case, you could suggest Repetitions, different scripture texts, or other adaptations. Always remember to give a focus according to your directee's need or according to what is emerging in his prayer.

"Making A Connection"  Versus  "Working Through"

        What is essential in the Exercises journey after these Disposition Days is that your directee will be able to allow God to help him work through many of the issues that surface in his prayer [15]. The Disposition Days is the time to lay the foundation for this. As a prayer guide, even if you have the competency as a pastoral counsellor to help your directee work through his personal issues, avoid giving way to the temptation to spend too much time now trying to help him work through issues that would be better left to God through the dynamic of the Exercises journey. Needless to say, in order to move ahead profitably with the Disposition Days, it is always important to make sufficient connections with his issues. But if you get caught now in the working-through, you may not be preparing your directee to allow God to do the working-through later.

        The distinction between `making a connection' and `working through' determines one of the differences between spiritual direction and various forms of psychotherapeutic counselling. `To make a connection' is to reach some authentic appreciation of your directee's experience and to express this real appreciation to your directee. You have a sense of it, even though you do not grasp it entirely nor do you see the issue involved. Your directee feels that you have grasped something of what he is trying to express. He is comfortable with having expressed it and with you having given sufficient time to get a sense of it.

        A psychotherapeutic counsellor, on the other hand, not only makes a connection but also `works through' the issue with the client during the sessions with him. To `work through' implies that the counsellor engages the client in a dialogue which attempts to deal with the experience as fully as possible. When she helps the client work through an issue, the psychotherapeutic counsellor first allows the client to express his experience and then she continues to facilitate the process by which the client deals with and resolves the underlying issues with her. When the psychotherapeutic counsellor `works through,' she takes an active role all through a process which helps unveil some resolution during the interview with the client.

        On the other hand, the prayer guide, when acting specifically as prayer guide, does not generally help a directee `to work things through' during the sessions of prayer guidance. The Exercises journey, according to notations [19]and [20], is established on the belief and practice of the prayer guide equipping the directee to work through with God what needs to be worked through [2], [5], [15]. God is the one who helps the directee by leading him through his own struggles to the needed enlightenment. `Making a connection' means that the prayer guide has listened to the directee with empathy and that the directee has been heard sufficiently enough that he will be able to let God do the `working through.' Your role is to suggest prayer material or a focusing grace based on the connection made. In summary, your role is really to help the directee get hold of his own experience and express his real self to God.(17)

        At times, `working through' will be appropriate and necessary, and `making a connection' will not be sufficient. No doubt, there will be some moments during the course of the Exercises journey when a prayer guide has to help her directee explore issues and help him to talk out an experience more fully during the interview sessions. This may be needed at the beginning of the journey so that a directee will be able to enter the journey with greater openness.

Summary

Specifically:

Generally:

 
 

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Endnotes For Chapters 3 & 4

8.Consult Chapter 31, "The Early Stages In Ongoing Spiritual Direction," and Chapter 32, "The Conversion Cycle In Prayer Dynamics And Program Design," in this manual.

9.These are technically named Private Thoughts which Ignatius refers to in notations [17] and [32] of the Exercises; that is, the thought-out thoughts, the thoughts that one has consciously worked out rather than the spontaneous thoughts that have occurred during the prayer exercise. A prayer guide is to be attentive to the interior reactions that flow through a directee as he was doing the prayer exercise. Some of these reactions are feelings; some are occurring or half-evolved thoughts; some are a combination. Many of these reactions arise from the less-than-conscious part of ourselves. The more conscious, controlled thoughts and insights are not the primary arena for discernment [17]. A prayer guide listens primarily to what arises from the directee's heart. For a further exploration of this point, consult Chapter 29, "Guidelines For Discerning Spirits," pp.448f.

10.As in notation [157] -- "Note," and in the Triple Colloquies [63], [147], [156], [159].

11.In her book, The Discerning Heart: Discovering a Personal God (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1993), Maureen Conroy, R.S.M., explains with illustrations how growth takes place when a directee is encouraged to stay with the resistance. Consult pp.75-91. Also consult the last half of her book for real-life examples of reflective listening and facilitative guidance in the context of ongoing spiritual direction and the Guidelines for Discerning Spirits.

12.Madeline Birmingham and William J. Connolly, in Witnessing to the Fire: Spiritual Direction and the Development of Directors, One Center's Experience (Kansas City: Sheed and Ward, 1994), give very good examples of helping directees pay attention to their deeper reactions and feelings (pp.128-154; 209-232). Their context is one of ongoing spiritual direction but the approach is basically the same for directees at this time in the Exercises. Also, at any other time during the Exercises, particularly if your directee is more in a Healing Mode, this is always an effective approach.

13.Your prudence will determine whether this type of sharing is appropriate or not. Your witness is helpful when your directee knows from his meetings with you that you really do recognize that his prayer experiences are unique to him and are not the same as yours.

14. On the other hand, if the `reflective skills' and the Contemplative Attitude are in place, you may judge that this is the time to move into the First Week.

15. "Truth" for Ignatius was different from the truth of modern scientific thought or from the objective rationalism that preceded it. For Ignatius, truth was something you feel and it was something of the heart. In this sense, Ignatius was rooted in the culture of the medieval worldview. His genius was that he discovered and gave us, through the Exercises, a technique of reflecting on one's spontaneous interior experiences that is consistent with the ways we experience ourselves in our present developmental worldview. In the Glossary, consult Classicist Worldview, Discursive Prayer.

16. At this time, the reading of footnotes and commentaries might indicate ignorance on the part of a new directee; later, on the other hand, it might indicate Desolation.

17. Professional practitioners of the Exercises in the closed retreat setting often remark how, during the Exercises, some directees receive as much insight and healing as another person might in two years of therapy on a bi-weekly basis. The dynamic of the interaction between God and the directee, in itself accomplishes much healing. During the Exercises journey in the closed setting of notation [20], a director might only need to meet daily with her directee for a short space of time.

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